How We Got Our Baby to Sleep through the Night: Part 1

When my daughter was about 7 months old, we had hit a wall. The possibility of sleeping through the night appeared to be nothing more than a faraway dream.

The solution we were seeking was a combination of the tips described below along with sleep training. For parents out there suffering through major sleep deprivation, I hope some of these help you! To learn more, don’t miss my second post on this topic.

xoxo,

Marielle

 


There were a few nights, counted on one hand, where she slept for seven to eight hours straight but those were flukes. It got to the point where Catherine’s pediatrician, noting the increasingly dark under eye circles on Mark and me, would repeatedly but gently suggest sleep training. When first presented with the idea, I stored it away for possible future use but didn’t exactly rush home to try it out.

I’ve always had anxiety and that has increased tenfold since having a baby. There was so much pressure to make the right choice for her, for all of us. I was tired but I didn’t want to prematurely jump into doing something that might cause my baby to lose trust in me. I was convinced I would find a solution so perfect that we could have it all; Catherine wouldn’t lose so much as an ounce of faith in us and we would get enough sleep through each night to rejoin the human race.

After scouring books, articles, and parenting forums, I found there were two camps. One side described sleep training as selfish and promised it would only result in your child feeling abandoned and hating you forever. But then I would jealously read the experiences of those who successfully sleep trained. Whole families would slumber blissfully and predictably (for the most part) throughout the night?! I wasn’t knowledgeable enough yet to form a solid opinion either way but the prospect of scarring my baby for life had my stomach in knots.

There were several things that I should mention: I was nursing on demand in attempt to resolve low supply, all of us were sleeping in the same bed, and Catherine had a bad case of eczema which started pretty early on. For the first few months of Catherine’s life, we would put her in a wrap or swaddle her to get her to nap otherwise she would only sleep when she was either on the breast or being held. However, swaddling only worked for a short time as she was growing rapidly in length and increasingly disliked her limbs being confined.

Staying awake while nursing was an uphill battle for Catherine from the get go. Try as I might to blow on her face and tickle her, once she was on the way to dozing off there was no stopping her. However, her falling asleep at the breast was different at night than during the day. With the latter, she would actively suckle and swallow for a few minutes before gradually drifting off. At night, Catherine would wake every two to three hours demanding to be on the breast and would fall asleep instantaneously upon latching. Hence, not much suckling and barely any swallowing. When I would try to unlatch her, she’d get furious. Sometimes I tried a quick slip of the pacifier but she was pretty offended by that and would scream until back on the breast. It was clear that Catherine formed a strong sleep association with being on the breast.


With a hopeful outlook, we tried out methods from Elizabeth Pantley’s The No-Cry Sleep Solution. The points I’ll delve into are the nurse to sleep association, establishing a sleep routine, and logging. I’ll discuss the principles broadly but will also add tips that we’ve learned from various sources that may help you.

The first concept from the book that we tried to resolve was breaking the sleep association she formed with my breasts. Basically, don’t let your baby fall asleep while nursing otherwise they’ll feel like they absolutely need to be on the breast to sleep. Try to keep them awake so that they can do what they’re meant to be doing– eating. I was told to try blowing on baby’s face or tickling cheeks, neck, or body. Watch the baby closely as they nurse so at the moment they give signs of being sleepy and are no longer actively nursing (typically suckling has slowed,haven’t swallowed in a while) you can unlatch them.

The second concept was the most helpful for us. The goals of establishing a predictable sleep routine are to provide the baby with cues that it’s time to sleep as well as to help set the mood. Like everything else related to raising your child, find what works for your baby. White noise via sound machine or an MP3 played on continuous loop can help the baby relax. Baby’s room should be kept a comfortable temperature at all times with the ideal being anywhere from high 60s to low 70s Fahrenheit. Air quality can also be an important factor. The air can get dry when using the air conditioner or heater so using a humidifier can help prevent things like dry skin. If you do notice any dryness on baby’s skin, apply skin cream, lotion, or balm to affected areas to keep them hydrated. Also, if you live in an older home, an air purifier can keep the air clean. If you don’t feel like buying more electronics for this purpose, there are alternative options. We keep a Himalayan salt lamp and little bags of activated charcoal in Catherine’s room for this purpose. Lastly, I sometimes place a small diffuser in Catherine’s room and diffuse a few drops of lavender essential oil which is a natural antiseptic and calming.

Consider light sources that don’t need to constantly be on in the baby’s room such as night lights. Placing a light just outside the room should be sufficient for your visibility. A dimmable light in the baby’s room can help in minimizing sensory stimulation for those necessary nighttime diaper changes. On the same note, perhaps wipe warmers may help? We’ve never tried them though.

Another thing to try is changing the baby into pajamas/sleep clothes at a specific time or right before bed. Sleep clothes should be breathable material such as cotton, nonrestrictive, and warm enough but not so much that the baby overheats. Think a onesie paired with comfy pants. Lastly, put the baby to sleep with a fresh diaper and make sure the baby doesn’t go to sleep hungry.

Little rituals will help to serve as a sleep cue to the baby. The most important thing is consistency regardless of whether your baby needs one or several rituals to help trigger sleep. Aim to start this routine at a set time each night so that your baby can adjust and give yourself anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour prior to that to help your baby get in the mood for sleep. This includes avoiding exposing the baby to bright lights, blue light sources like televisions and computers, and too much social interaction or play before bed.


The importance of logging is to keep record of what is or isn’t working for your baby. When you are so tired you can barely keep track of the date, having one place you can turn to for answers can be highly useful. This can be done a variety of ways just find whatever you feel is easiest for you and your lifestyle. When we started sleep training, I would write down everything virtually through Google Docs or jot blurbs on Evernote which worked better for me in terms of note taking. Let’s say you’ve decided to try out putting the baby down with white noise and over the next few days you notice the baby falls asleep faster than without it. The practice of logging helps you to be more observant in finding what works and weeding out what doesn’t for your baby. After all, all of this is experimentation.

This goes beyond sleep recording but it was so useful and essential to my daily life that I had to mention it. I used an application called Baby Care Log basically from the day I gave birth to record everything. It has a user friendly interface that’s simple and clean yet can handle any kind of baby related data. From charting Catherine’s progression of growth in terms of height and weight, how much milk I pumped, which breast I fed her off last, how long she nursed in a session, when her last diaper was and what type it was, when her last bath was, when her last nap was, keeping track of any medications needed, the ability to set multiple alarms for events.. it was all there in one place. It definitely helped getting through the first few months a little easier.

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